Lack of Discipline or Just A Free Spirit?

Routine and I are not on good terms.  Not sure why, but when I start to do things multiple days in a row (this does not include hygiene) I start to get this queezy feeling in my stomach and I stop.  Even if the routine is beneficial.  I know routine is good, kids and adults thrive from it, it keeps things predictable and it helps to manage the daily tasks, but I really shy away from it.  I view myself more as “free-spirit“.  I enjoy doing different things everyday – I like to shake things up and not settle. I thrive off of spontaneity, but I’m beginning to think my dynamic lifestyle may not be the best for me.

I started thinking about this the other night when I was too lazy to wash my face before bed…I took out my contacts, brushed my teeth but didn’t feel like washing my tired face.  I spend tons of money of potions and lotions to keep my face looking young(ish), but I don’t take 30 seconds to wash all the pollution and makeup off my face?!  My sister, who was an Estee Lauder consultant in college, told me if you don’t wash your face at night you add an extra 7 days to your looks…eeek!  Knowing that, I still don’t do it.  Another example, today I went to a Pilates boot camp class (think 2 intense hours of fatiguing just about every muscle in your body) then I came home and ate oreo cheesecake…my instructor would kick my ass if she found out.  What’s wrong with me?!  Is it lack of discipline or am I a creative soul trying my hardest not to confine myself to the monotony and boredom that a routine can evoke?  However, I do think it’s time I start buckling down and doing what’s best for me and my fam.  I should be predictable, right…?

How do I start working on discipline?  Do I see a psychologist?  Do I read a book on the subject?  Should I sign up for a martial arts class?  I brought this up to my husband today and he told me, “no need to spend any money – just do it”.  Seems pretty simple enough. Wish me luck again.

BTW: Trusting my gut is doing me well.  I feel happier, I feel more present, and I feel like the pressure I tend to put on myself has alleviated a bit…I’m enjoying the ride. Thank you for your positive thoughts.


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